Saturday, November 10, 2007 Y
Another new day.Saw Fiqal last night.He cut his hair such tat dere were sideburns and his fringe.It was lyke looking at a different person.I really really miss him so much.Why is it lyke ii jus cant forget him?I miss the times we laughed together,the times he used to joke around wit me.Fiqal Fiqal,you will never know how much ii miss you.
Friday, November 9, 2007 Y
Ok,so its lyke i've made up wit Ainnah and Syafiq.And its lyke saw them at de void deck jus now when going home.And ii kept teasing Syafiq bout lyking Ainnah. :) A least we can still laugh together lyke de past. At least ii still have de two of them.But ii still hope to be able to laugh together wit Fiqal and Zul once again.Though Ainnah and Syafiq are still by my side,sumting still feels empty.Fiqal and Zul arent here.It doesnt quite feel the same without the two of them.I hope,tat one day,the five of us can be together lyke de past again.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007 Y
Hey Ainnah,if you are reading tis post,den umm,sorry hor.I mean its lyke i didnt mean to walk away.Jus tat ii didnt noe wat to say.So i walked away.But ii didnt mean to.Hope you will forgive me. <:(P.S:I jus found out sumting when Syafiq came to scold me jus now,SYAFIQ LYKES YOU!!! Ok so im prepared for Syafiq to cum kill me.So you better forgive me before i get killed,cos otherwise dere will be nobody to defend me.
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Just came bac from gz.The lao shi add so many songs lor.Stupid.Chatted wit LT and its lyke ii culd still laugh lyke the past.At least tats sumting good.Rather than sulking all de time.And you noe wat.ii saw Ainnah.I tink she went to Syafiqs house,and saw de two of them at Tam mart.I will never forget tat look in her eyes.Lyke pitifulness,mixed wit eagerness.Lyke she was actually happy to see me.But ii actally heartlessly walked off.Now ii noe ii will never be able to make amends.I walked off.Away.Tat was sumone who grew up wit me.Sumone who wuld always be dere when ii needed her.Sumone who always defended me.And ii noe i've broken her heart.
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Saw wat LT and Rashid posted.Dey can scold all dey wan.ii dont care animore.Dey will never understand.Never.And ii dont expect them 2.Its jus tat sumtimes ii really feel so alone.ii hate de loneliness.Lost contact wit LT rashid and gracie for a few days already.Seems lyke im all alone.De disappointment when ii go on msn and deres nobody online,de loneliness when evrybodys out leaving me all alone...Wat if ii had called Ainnah.Wld tings still turn out lyke tat???????Maybe ii was stubborn.Maybe it was my fault.But deres nothing ii can do now.Shes gone.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007 Y
Ok im feeling very very very LOUSY rite now.Syafiq asked me out jus to scold me.Dumb.Dumb dumb dumb.If ii known he was going to scold me,ii wuldnt have went.He jus kept scolding me for ignoring Ainnah,and all tat crap bout frenship blahblahblah.But he was rite.Ainnah was always de one who defended me,got me out of trouble.Its not tat im ignorant,but ii do noe tat Syafiq and Ainnah have always treated me lyke a younger sister.ii do noe all tis.So im ii being UNGRATEFUL?How did tings get so complicated???ii never had 2 bother bout all tis when ii was young.Never had to worry being ignored.Never had to worry bout forgetting my bks.Ainnah was dere.Syafiq was dere.But now they arent.They arent dere for me animore.
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Havent talked to Ainnah for bout a wk now.And now Syafiq wont talk to me as well cos ii wont talk to Ainnah.Great.Its an argue triangle.Tis was how my friendship wit Zul and Fiqal slowly ceased 2 exist.We stopped talking 2 each other,and soon,we became lyke plain strangers.You may tink im stubborn,cos its been a wk and im still not talking to Ainnah.Fact is,im afraid.Really afraid.Im afraid tat my frenship wit Ainnah and Syafiq will soon cease to exist as well.I've already lost two of my childhood frenz.I really dont wan 2 lose the remaining 2 as well.But ii jus dont wan to call Ainnah and apologize.It wasnt even my fault.But if ii still dont do sumting,my fears will soon becum reality.Its used to be:6 years 5 children 1 sweet childhoodBut now its becum:7 years 5 children 1 bitter childhood
Monday, November 5, 2007 Y
Bored bored bored @ home.Evryday play com play til xian liaoz.Almost perfected de song Secret.Jus nid 2 sort out some parts,quicken my speed.Watched DVD yesterday.Its lyke sum sort of horror movie;Alone.Quite scary.
