I'm home. =.=
So.Its been quite a long day for me.Woke up in the morning.And i overslept today.Supposed to wake up at 8am practise piano.Because Daddy goes to the Kopitiam to drink coffee at this time.But i woke up at 9am plus instead.Shit.
And there goes my chance to practise piano.
Went for lunch with Daniel at Tampines 1.Then went for Li Ying's cello practice.Today's practice didn't go very well.I could only manage the second song well.The other two is like still unstable.I must practise more.
After practice took bus 28 home.Gosh.And i fell asleep on the bus.=.= I was supposed to stop at Tampines mart.But then i fell asleep.Overslept again.
And i ended up back at Tampines interchange.What the hell?
Had to take bus 291 back to Tampines mart.Gosh i'm so lame man.
Wasted my time.
Reached home.Watched Beachball Babes.Had dinner.Daydreamed.And here i am blogging.=.=
Another two more weeks.And holiday's over.Gosh.
And i still got to do E Maths ws, E Maths online test, Chem topic 11 ws and A Maths online test 2.
SIAN.And still got the Chinese, Maths and SS project.OH SHIT.
And theres guzheng again in week 4 of the holidays.OH GOSH.I'm dead.We need to memorize four songs.FOUR SONGS.And i think i already forgotten the first two.SHIT.And the next 2 songs i can't even play properly yet.Oh well.
I'm watching Hannah Montana:The Movie tmr!WOOT.And Daniel's watching with me.Okay.Sounds weird huh.
Me.Watching Hannah Montana.With Daniel. =.= I wanted to watch with my sister, but i guess shes too hooked to her laptop to want to go with me.And Daniel volunteered to go with me.HE VOLUNTEERED.I didn't force him to go Abang.HE VOLUNTEERED.
Going out with Cynthia probably next week.And theres still no MgLiRaP outing!!!!By the end of June, there must be one!!!
I'm dreading the end of June.Mugging and more mugging.And the A Maths and E Maths chapters are getting tougher.Shit.Maybe i shouldn't have quitted tuition.
Oh well.We'll see.I have to work extra hard once term 3 starts.
Read Liting's blog.Haha.I almost laughed when i saw the Fizzy thing.Thats the nickname we gave to Fiqal.And i'm glad u're not angry Liting.
Surprisingly, i did see u today Shafiqal.
I walked home from T-mart after cello practice.And i saw him at the void deck again.And i experienced deja vu when i saw him there.Its like.I thought i saw the exact same scene before.But the feeling faded away after a few seconds.Like it always does.
Again.I sat down with him in the void deck.
This time, I started talking.I didn't know why.But i started telling him all about my life.My friends, my school, my CCA.I needed no prompting.It just came out naturally.
It feels so easy to be with him.To just be me, Michelle, and him, Shafiqal.Not Chinese and Malay.
And i went home soon.Again.I didn't say bye.But this time, he said it.
"Bye princess. And stay happy." - Shafiqal Al Shamirah Bin Jusri.
Could u not say bye?

Another dawn.
Piano lesson over.I should be feeling happy today.But i'm still feeling like a zombie. Woke up at 8am. And i stared at the ceiling for a whole half an hour.
I feel really dead.As in REALLY dead.I feel uneasy in fact.
I'm still worrying that Liting's angry.God Michelle, would u stop worrying?
But still.I must like see her and comfirm shes not angry before i can stop worrying.
Cello practice again tmr.Then Sunday watching Hannah Montana The Movie.Finally.I love that show.
Childish me.
I smsed Daniel as soon as i woke up today.Someone told me now or never.And after much thinking, i decided to forgive Daniel.
And he called me as soon as he received my sms. ._. And my mind hadn't exactly woken up yet.Still a bit dazed.
And he was so damn happy.Gosh i didn't know i can make someone so happy just by sending an sms.
Everything's over.Its all alright now.Then why am i still feeling so unhappy?
When i woke up today, the first thing i thought of was what Shafiqal said to me last night.
"See you tomorrow."
Will I Fiqal? Will I see you today?
Stop thinking Michelle.
Tomorrow is Saturday.Today is Friday.
I suddenly remembered i'm supposed to eat lunch with the usual tomorrow.But after what happened on Tuesday, it feels weird to go.
Huai Wei they all don't know what happened, but i don't know how to face Tina.
._. Tomorrow is tomorrow.Think about today first.
Today.I'm confined at home.Today.
I'm just going to daydream my day away.

Third post of the day.
Smsed Liting today.And she told me shes not angry anymore.I feel alittle better now.But then, theres still Daniel and Tina.
Finished piano lesson.It didn't go well of course.I didn't practise.And i got scolded by teacher.It made me feel even more fed up.So i started to play anyhow.
Took the bus home.I put my phone on silent mode for the whole of today.Until 4pm. When i smsed Liting.
And i had 9 missed calls, 10 smses from Daniel and 7 missed calls, 5 smses from Tina.That was exactly why i put it on silent mode.
Reached home around 6.30pm plus.I don't know how i'm feeling.
Like a zombie perhaps.A zombie doesn't have feelings.
And i saw Shafiqal when walking home.I didn't know how to react.So i just stared at him.Of course, he knows exactly what happened.
I don't know why, but i sat down in the void deck with him.He started talking.About his life.What he had been doing the past 3 years.It felt weird.Not to know about his life even though he lives just beside me.
I just listened in silence.Just stared at him.Sometimes, I even wondered if he would just disappear all of a sudden.
After all, it seemed so unreal.Sitting down in the void deck, talking to him like theres no tomorrow.
I forgot all about my troubles.I forgot that my family was just upstairs.I forgot about the enmity between our families.I forgot time was still passing.
All i knew was i didn't want to go.I could sit there forever listening to him.
And he told me to wait.And he walked off.I didn't understand what he meant.I was trying to search for any hidden meanings in his words.
And i waited.I wondered if he would even come back.And he did.He walked back, holding two red bean ice cream potongs.
I took them without a word.And so, we sat side by side in silence, eating ice cream, staring into space.
I felt like i was 8 years old instead of 15.
Two innocent children, sitting together, watching the sun go down.But i soon realised i had been sitting there way too long.
And i remembered i'm 15.Not 8.Not 9.And Shafiqal long left my life 3 years ago.
So we walked up together.I didn't know how to open my mouth to say goodbye.
I was afraid of saying it out loud.And in the end, both of us didn't say bye.
Instead, he said "See you tomorrow".
Will I?

I just saw Shafiqal's tag.
The last person i thought would appear in my life again just did.
For a moment, i could almost hear him saying those words aloud to me.
Shafiqal.Could u come back into my life?Please?
U're the only person i trust now.I know u won't ever lie to me.Ever.
I'm really lost now Fiqal.And i'm panicking.Because i just can't find my way out.
Take me somewhere else Fiqal.Take me to a place where i can be free of my fears.Please.
I remember when we were 9 years old.And we played hide and seek in the void deck.And i ran off somewhere far off to hide.And for a long time, nobody came to find me.
And then, i felt the same panic i feel now.
I was afraid nobody would ever come for me.I thought u had all forgotten about me.
And i started crying.I don't know how long i cried.And then u came.
"Boo! I found you! Why are u crying?" Those are the exact words u said.
And to be truthful, i didn't know why i was crying.
And u told me that i would never be alone.Because i was like the sun.And everyone needed my warmth to survive.At that moment, i believed what u said.
And u promised me u would never leave me by myself again.Do u remember Fiqal?
I wish i can still be that naive 9 year old girl.And believe that i'm like the sun.And everyone needs me to survive.
But i'm not Fiqal.I'm not.
I'm not 9 years old anymore.I'm 15.You aren't by my side.And i'm all by myself.
Would u still come looking for me?

I don't know what to feel.What to think.What to say.
I just read Liting's blog.And i seriously don't know what to say.I think we really have a huge misunderstanding between us right now.Misunderstandings.They never used to exist.At least.Not between me and Liting.
I know its no point trying to explain.And i don't know what to say even if i do try to explain.What can i say?I'm sorry i thought that u thought i was being a hypocrite?
I would only make things worse.
So what now?Huh?What now??Sit and stare helplessly as our friendship just breaks off??
Theres really too many things right now.First, it was Daniel and Tina.Now, its Liting.Whos next?Who am i going to lose next?
I feel like screaming.And i cried again last night.So i cried twice in a day.Great.Just great.What the hell is wrong with me?
Does crying solve my problems?Does it??It doesn't Michelle, it doesn't!!
I tried calling Kakak last night.And she told me she had a really bad day as well.Because of Abang and Abang Khalid.And shes really frustrated.
Kakak, Abang, Daniel, Tina, Abang Khalid.I can't turn to any one of them.
So who else can i turn to?
I just realised i have nobody now.For a moment, panic really caught at my heart.Because theres no one at all for me to turn to.
Liting, if u are reading this, i just want to say i'm sorry.I'm very sorry.I really hope our friendship doesn't break off.Because u're the only person i have left.

End of another day.
Went out with LiTing and Derrick today.Of course Daniel and Tina didn't come.I'm not going to have anything to do with them after what happened yesterday.
And today isn't exactly the best day of my life.
I'm not going to elaborate.Just another normal outing.And i didn't play a single game at the arcade.The noise was giving me a headache.And i tried listening to my ipod.But in fact i had to turn up to max volume in order to even hear anything.
I'm gonna get new earphones.Those are really lousy.
Then lunch.At KFC.Because Derrick's boss was there.And i didn't even finish my meal.No appetite at all.Just like breakfast.And then arcade again.And again i didn't play.Then Li Ying's cello practice.
I think it went okay.And i'm sorry to somebody.That person should know who he or she is.
But i'm really sick and tired.Its exactly like the time we got back result slips.And everyone said it until like my A1s dropped from the sky.And when my friends get upset, i don't know how to comfort them.Because they will just think i'm being a hypocrite.
And this time, its like almost the same for Li Ying's cello practice.And i don't know why i'm always made to feel like i'm the bad guy.The one whos shedding crocodile tears.The hypocrite.
I'm not.I'm really not.
And i cried when i reached home.I don't know why.I just felt like crying.Why am i always made to feel like i'm the hypocrite?Why??
And then theres no Daniel there for me.I'm supposed to be ignoring him.And i was hiding in my room crying by myself.
And this idiot kept smsing me.The idiot should know who he or she is too.And i was really frustrated.Why am i always made to look like the bad guy?Huh?Why??
And for the first time, i felt really alone.As in really alone.Nobody was there to show me concern.Nobody was there to wipe away my tears.Nobody.At all.

I'm back from the outing with Daniel and Tina.
And at first, i was so happy to see Daniel.And ww3 and all that began.Everything was normal.
Until Tina blurted out a secret in the midst of arguing.And Daniel was staring at her.Then at me.And both of them kept quiet all of a sudden.
Tina said: "God! U weren't even this gentlemanly when we were together 2 years ago!"
Shock.Quietness.Confusion.
I was confused at first about why she said that.2 years ago.Daniel hadn't even come back into my life yet.
I started thinking and thinking.And i just couldn't get why she said that.And i asked them.
And they kept quiet.And it all clicked together suddenly.All the little pieces.
I always wondered how two people who had never met could dislike each other so much.The way they argued.
And now.I finally understand.
DANIEL HAD ONCE DATED TINA 2 YEARS AGO.
Awareness started to seep in.And Tina told me.And confirmed what i guessed.And Daniel was staring wide eyed at me.As if he was too shocked to say anything.Waiting for my reaction.
THEY HAVE BEEN LYING TO ME FOR 3 WHOLE MONTHS.
I didn't know how to react.And Daniel was trying to explain things to me.I know he used to be a playboy, but i didn't expect him to have dated Tina 2 years ago!!
I should have known.I should have known!!!! The look of awareness on their faces when i first introduced them to each other.
And i'm totally ignoring both of them now.I hate being lied to!Daniel, YOU of all people should know that!
And TINA.Why couldn't u have just told me??!Why did u have to go and lie to me??!
I'm not angry that they used to be a couple, i'm angry that they LIED!!!!!!
I'm gonna ignore them for a long time.A REALLY LONG TIME.
I hate u both!

I'm going out soon people!Haha.
Preparing to meet Tina at Tampines MRT with Daniel.And Daniel's back!!!WOOT!Gosh i'm crazy.But anyway, i'm looking forward to seeing him. =.=
Was facebooking just now.And i took the EQ quiz and my score was 89. ._. And my IQ score is 104.LOW IQ LOW EQ. God i'm seriously retarded man.
And i took the Can U Spot a Liar quiz, and my result was CAN'T SPOT A LIAR.=.= WTH man.And everyone else is like can spot.=.=
I'm seriously abnormal.ABNORMAL!!!
Retarded abnormal girl.=.=
This post is uber short.DIAO.

TODAY IS TUESDAY. =.=
Today's outing with LiTing, Derrick, Daniel and Tina is cancelled.Lame.Postponed to tmr.And tmr i have to go for LiYing's cello practice.And i have got VERY bad news LiTing.We are like each playing for one person.Because still got LiYing's the senior.So its like one pianist to one person.My mom doesn't want me to play for two people.=.=
So which means u have to practise all 3 songs. ._.
And then Thurs.I'm dead already lor.I didn't practise my scales at all.How can i practise?Daddy's sleeping in the day.God.
Prepare to get scolded Mich.Rarw.
Still thinking about my tarot cards.=.= I have to find a day where i'm going to all the Kinokuniyas in Singapore.Just to find my tarot cards.=.= Or maybe Borders sells them too.
I've been sleeping at 11pm plus the past few nights.Which is totally not me.I used to sleep around 9pm plus.ZZZ.Because i'm waiting for Daniel's sms every night.=.=
And then the whole house is in darkness.And everyone is sleeping.And i'm sitting on my bed waiting. =.=
And thank god most of the time theres either Tina, Derrick, Huai Wei, Man Sheng or Aaron to entertain me. =.= This is the good thing about having a wide network of friends.
I feel dead.And i still have to do research on Sim Wong Hoo later on.Hes the founder of "Creative Technologies".Have to research for chinese project.
RARW.
I don't know why but the incident where Fiqal knocked into me on his skateboard keeps popping up in my mind.=.= Like a recurring image that never goes away.
STOP THINKING ABOUT IT MICH.STOP THINKING.STOP THINKING.STOP THINKING.STOP THINKING.
I'm crazy.Definitely.
I want a MgLiRaP outing!!!!!AHHHHHHH!Will have to organize one soon.Or i will go crazy thinking about it. =.=
Next term.I will work even harder.I've been slacking way too much this term.I'm purely lucky that i still managed to maintain my A1s.I MUST WORK HARDER NEXT TERM!!!!!!!!
Much harder.Because the chapters are going to be much harder too.
And i'm going to revise in advance Bio chaps 8 and 9.And Physics chapter 2.GOD acceleration, velocity and all that stuff is killing me.I totally don't understand.And the calculations thing is like alien language.
I'M DEAD.And Ms Tia says theres going to be a chapter in A Maths that has kinematics as well.
OH GOD.KILL ME.
Going out with Daniel and Tina later on.Well actually i didn't tell Daniel that Tina's coming.Okay i'm preparing myself for WW3.
I seriously don't understand how two people who have never met can dislike each other so much. =.= What the hell is wrong with them??
GOD.I just don't understand.

TODAY IS MONDAY.YESTERDAY WAS SUNDAY.TOMORROW IS TUESDAY.
Haha.Yi Ren and Janet should get the joke.^^
Daniel is coming back tmr.WOOT!Finally.Going out with LiTing,Derrick,Rashid,Daniel and Tina tmr.I THINK.I hope Daniel and Tina don't pang seh me.GOSH.
And i just found out another secret!Hehe.Sort of like another bomb on me.Rarw.First Tina's bomb, then Daddy's bomb, and now, Derrick's bomb. =.=
But anyway, i get to be a matchmaker!!WOOT.I used to matchmake Abang and Kakak.But now theres Abang Khalid in the picture, so it be best if i don't interfere.And now, i have someone else to matchmake!!!So cool man!And if the matchmake is successful, someone will have to thank me. ^^
MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY.3 days later it will be Thursday.3 days later it will be my doomsday.Cool.It rhymes man.LOL.
Congrats my beloved LiTing!Migod u have perfect pitch.Then your aural will be a breeze!!And i'm still struggling with modulations.RARW. =.=
And my SCALES.GOD.Just thinking about it makes me stressed up.ZZZ.
I want tarot cards!!!!!I think i'm becoming obsessed with tarot reading.But i really think its so cool man.Thinking of tarot cards makes me think of gypsies.
U know theres this picture that keeps replaying in my head.
A rundown back room, or a gypsy tent...An old woman, sitting in the shadows, reading the cards for a nervous young girl...The old woman then lifts her wrinkled finger, and drops it ominously on the Death card...The girl then draws back, frightened by the sign of her impending doom...
Tarot cards give me the impression of an ancient legend kind of thing.SO COOL.
And, it helps us reach our Inner Guide.COOL.
RARW.Come back to reality Mich.
MY impending doom is just 3 days away.GOD.Holidays.They'll be over sooner or later.GOSH.They have only just started.Why am i thinking about the end of holidays so soon.RARW.
And i saw Syahira yesterday. ._. She was with Ara and the rest.If Daniel was with me, i wouldn't have worried about walking past them.But Daniel wasn't.And so i had to make a big detour round the block to reach the staircase.
This is so stupid.Why am i even avoiding her??Stupid me.
I'm becoming too dependent on Daniel.GOSH.
What am i thinking.

WOOT.So first week of the holidays is OVER.
K Box yesterday with Tina and the usual.It was FUN!Met at E Hub around 1pm plus, then went K Box.
And Ms Carrie came.WOOT.And the guys were like super noisy.RARW.Huai Wei and Man Sheng sang "I Love Rock n Roll".And it was so damn hilarious.It was more screaming than singing.Thank god my ears are still working. ^^
Stayed there until around like 4 plus i think.And then headed to Tampines 1 for dinner.Ms Carrie treated all of us.Shes so nice man, and we dined at Thai Express.
Watched Boys over Flowers on TV last nite.
Talked to Tina over the phone.Replied Derrick's sms.And Daniel smsed me around 11.15pm, somehow i felt so happy to see his sms.God, i think i'm going crazy.
And it was really funny after that.Because first Tina smsed me sweet dreams, then Derrick, then Daniel.And they came almost one after another.And i actually laughed out loud.In the middle of the night.Okay i'm seriously crazy already.
Had piano lesson today.RARW.SO XIAN.But today's lesson was okay.Because teacher didn't do any scales or aural.LUCKY ME.
Then went Bugis with Tina.WOOT.Walked round and round.And we went Bugis Village.WOOT.Bought a few things.
Tina bought this pair of retro glasses, which btw Tina, are u really going to wear those?Haha.I bought a pair of denim shorts, sandals and a belt.Tina bought a necklace and a pair of skinnys.Walked back to Bugis Junction.Had ice cream.GOD my legs were freaking tired.
Wanted to go Kinokuniya to look for tarot cards, but then Tina practically dragged me off to look for new shirts.GOD TINA!She says tarot cards are so not trustworthy.But i've been doing my research!And i MUST get a deck of Tarot cards.Hopefully the Rider-Waite deck.
RARW.Took MRT home.Slacked at the void deck.And then ZUL came down.RARW.And i went home after that.Couldn't stand him.
So.Another boring week ahead.And piano lesson.GOD.Dreading it man.And u know what?My teacher told me that she would be doing scales and aural specifically next lesson.OKAY.I'M DEAD PEOPLE.
And Daniel u better come back on Tues.I'm dying of boredom!

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