Saturday, May 9, 2009 Y
SO.Halfway through the mid years right now.GOSH.
A Maths paper was harder than i expected ytd.But i still aim to get A1 anyway.Geography, Biology and E Maths next wk.GOSH i'm really really dead for Bio.Studied Chap 7 ytd and i totally don't understand.Its like reading alien language and trying to absorb it into my head.I think i understand the leaf structure thing already.But i still don't understand the limiting factors for photosynthesis and how glucose is used.
ZZZZZZZ.
Talked to Daniel on the phone again for another hour last nite.I seriously think i should stop disturbing people like tat.But anyway, i don't think Daniel minds.
So, hes studying at TPJC currently, while Abang Khalid is in ITE.As in like the same school as CLARA and Marcus.ZZZZ.
Talked about random stuffs as usual.And then i asked him, have i really changed?He didn't say anything.And i asked again, if i have changed, then who was i like before?
Daniel:"The girl i knew before was always smiling. She was easily contented, and she was always so trusting. She could laugh at every single thing, and most importantly, she was happy."
I hung up immediately after tat.And i cried.Because tat really doesn't sound like me anymore.To have someone tell me i have changed, and to have someone tell me HOW MUCH i have changed.Its two different things altogether.
All the while people have been telling me i have changed, i have changed, i have changed.And last nite, Daniel told me who i was before.I thought for a really long time after tat.
I asked myself why i was so obsessed with winning.I asked myself why i must beat other people.And i realised i
DON'T KNOW.
And i think its all because of my last result slip that showed all A1s.From tat moment on, i told myself i had to maintain tat.I was afraid of falling back.
All i didn't know was tat i was changing from tat very moment.I wanted to win.
Because the feeling of winning made me happy.I had never achieved such good results before.And i became obsessed with it.
I just want to say SORRY to all the people who had tried to tell me.Abang, Kakak, Daniel, LiTing, Tina, Janet.
And to LiTing and Janet:I'm NOT menopausing anymore alright.
Its about time i find the gal i lost inside myself again.
