I just learnt what is meant by chaotic. Because my life is a real life example of CHAOTIC.
School is so freaking insane nowadays. Its total madness in class. I don't know why but somehow, the class is a thousand times noisier than last year. And its friggin distracting.
ESPECIALLY YI REN'S LAUGHTER.
And i'm sitting right in the corner of the classroom, and we are packed like sardines, and then i feel so suffocated all cramped up in one pathetic corner. And then sometimes it gets so noisy that all i can hear is an irritating buzzing. Everybody is talking at the same time and its enough to drive me insane.
Grades aren't up to my expectations yet. Its an A1, but its not perfection. There are people who still get higher marks than me. So i'll strive to be the best. Thats my defition of GOOD ENOUGH. I'm not good enough yet as long as i'm not the best.
Going shopping for new clothes next weekend. Then next next Sat is Valentine's Day eve which i'm spending with XXX person! Yay.
My life is a mess.
And without XXX person holding me together, i would have collapsed and probably shattered into a million pieces.
And XXX person is walking me home after school everyday! Yay! Except on the days when he ends later than me.
And starting Mon, which is like the 1st of Feb, we have to stay back from 3-4pm for extra biology classes. How great is that. There goes the only day when we can go home early at 2.30pm without coming back for CCA.
GREAT.
And Physics SPA, as in like the actual one is on Wed. Like WTF? He didn't even give us any practice, and then tadaa, actual SPA already. FISH.
And now we have like tests every week.I miss the days when we can relax during the weekends. Because with tests like every week, there isn't any time to even take a break.
And i'm exhausted. Seriously. Mentally and physically exhausted.
I'm going to take a nice long break during the CNY holidays. Even if its for only like 3 days, i'm still going to rest well.
I screwed English CA already. My summary is crap. POOF. There goes English CA.
I know i've been hurting you a lot. I can tell. From what u said to me. It hurt a lot. But it made sense. It was all facts. Maybe u woke me up with yr scolding. Because i'm starting to realise how i've been treating u. And i'm sorry. When i saw this retard crying alone, all i thought of was me. I overlooked the fact that u might have been hurt as well. I've never come so close to losing u. And never have i been so afraid. So now, i'll love u even more. Show u more concern. Be a better girlfriend. I'm still waiting for these 11 months to be over. I love you.

Off to a bad, bad start.
I'm hurting inside. Do u know? I'm not telling u anything. Can't u sense it?
I don't know whats the use of crying every night. Because i'm just wasting my tears. And u never know. Never ever find out i've been crying all these nights.
At the end of the day, i just see this idiot crying in a corner. And i hate to admit thats me.
I ask myself: Do i need u?
Try as i might, i still can't lie to myself. Yes. Yes i need u.
When it all ends, i'll thank u for giving me that short lived happiness.

Off to a bad, bad start.
I'm hurting inside. Do u know? I'm not telling u anything. Can't u sense it?
I don't know whats the use of crying every night. Because i'm just wasting my tears. And u never know. Never ever find out i've been crying all these nights.
At the end of the day, i just see this idiot crying in a corner. And i hate to admit thats me.
I ask myself: Do i need u?
Try as i might, i still can't lie to myself. Yes. Yes i need u.
When it all ends, i'll thank u for giving me that short lived happiness.

Powered by website analytics technology.