Thursday, June 25, 2009 Y
Today is Thursday.Tomorrow is Friday.School reopens next Monday. ._.
I'm skipping piano lesson again today.CHEERS to me. =.= But then, i have to pretend to be at piano lesson again, so i'm having dinner with Li Ting.Actually Derrick was coming too, but somehow Li Ting didn't want to go if Derrick was going.And i don't know why. ._. I mean, the three of us went to watch Drag Me To Hell together also right?
School reopens next Monday.And i haven't studied for the Chemistry test.And i suddenly rmbered theres a whole solubility table must memorize.WTH.
Tina decided not to cut her hair.Like ZOMG.So i'm cutting by myself probably tmr.
Last semester.4 more months to go.Once school reopens, i'm going to study very very hard.Can't afford to fall back at this point.
._. And this certain someone has been daoing me for one whole day.Okay maybe more like one whole night. =.=
SIAN.
And i fell asleep at around 12am last night.And i woke up at 4am.Started staring at the ceiling.
And i suddenly realised something.
When i thought of Fiqal, i didn't feel anything anymore.Nothing at all.
I used to miss him alot, and whenever i thought of him, this, this feeling of loneliness just starts setting in.
BUT I DIDN'T FEEL A SINGLE THING LAST NIGHT.
Is that abnormal? Okay i don't think its abnormal.Everything fades with time, and u know what Fiqal? My feelings have faded with time as well.
I mean, for the past 3 years, we have had almost no contact at all.It was always me, staying in my room, hearing u in the corridor, or u, staying in your room, listening to me with Abang and the rest in the corridor.
But, i don't, i don't feel anything anymore now Fiqal.And even when i think of all the things u used to do to make me laugh, it all seems like a distant past now.
OH GOD.
Maybe u felt this way a long time ago already.Maybe it was just me who was holding on so stupidly.I always used to believe one day things would just go back to being how they used to be.But i've grown up Fiqal.I'm not that little girl anymore.
I don't believe in fairytales, i don't believe in happily ever afters, i don't believe in miracles.Not anymore.
And i know i'm not the Sun now.Nobody needs me to survive.The world doesn't revolve around me, and i should start making my own decisions.
I've grown up Shafiqal Al Shamirah Bin Jusri.I'm tired of waiting.
U know i used to wait for the day u would come back into my life, the day u would knock on my house door and ask me to go and play.
And i waited.And waited.And waited.One day.Two days.A month.Two months.
I waited for 3 years Fiqal.
I don't want to wait anymore.Because i know u're not coming.
