Tuesday, June 23, 2009 Y
Yet another bomb dropped on me.
Aunty Audrey called ytd saying that grandma was in hospital and she was in critical condition.She told me to tell Daddy and Mommy to take us to the hospital because grandma wanted to see us.
And Daddy knew already because Uncle Vincent had called him.And when we went to the hospital, i didn't know who it was lying in the bed there.
My whole family, including all my uncles and aunties have fallen out about a year ago because of some family disputes.And I didn't even get to go to grandma's house this year during CNY.
All i rmb of her is that shes a plump old lady, always healthy, always joking.But yet the person i saw lying on the hospital bed was so weak, so skinny, and there were tubes inserted into her nose, her hands.
Daddy seemed shocked as well.And he was trying to soothe her and all that.Its like grandma had returned to her childhood stage.
And the worse thing is that, grandma couldn't even recognize me.When i stood there, she was staring at me with the eyes of a stranger.And when mommy told her who i was, grandma was still staring at me as if trying to rmb who the hell i was.
My own grandmother doesn't even recognize me!!
But how can i hold it against her?She was so god damn weak, i think she couldn't even sit up straight.The doctor said she hadn't been eating and they had to put her on the glucose drip, and she hadn't been sleeping well.
I could see she was so tired, but somehow, she just couldn't sleep.
I was so afraid.Sitting there in the hospital ward.I was so afraid she would just fall asleep and then never wake up again.
And my aunties were all just sitting there in the ward without a word.
I started thinking about how things were when i was a small girl.It didn't use to be like that.My aunties doted on me and my sister.And during CNY, we would always go to my Aunty Catherine's house and everybody would be there.It was so blissful in fact.And at that time, i didn't know what blissful meant.
Now, all my aunties and uncles are avoiding each other, just because of some stupid financial issues, they're all falling out with one another.
I really don't understand why.They're all siblings aren't they?What could actually be more important than kinship?
I have so many uncles, so many aunties, so many grown up cousins, but i feel like i have none now.And then my little niece, i haven't even seen her before.
Whatever it is, i really wish my grandma pulls through.I haven't lost anyone related to me before, and i don't want to.
